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My name is Frida Bender and I am 40 years old. I live in Sweden with my spouse and our three children.

I started to pay attention to my body and the signals it was emitting, about 12 years from now. The first time it happened, was when I was pregnant with our oldest daughter and I was trying to cope with nausea.

It was not at all regularly or even deliberately to start with, but the progress has lead me to where I am today. An ever-changing place, but something shifted and evolved to a whole new level a couple of years ago. 

That was when I decided to start telling others about how I made it possible to eat and enjoy as much food as I want, and still be more comfortable and happy about my body than ever before.

The process of pinpointing my experience, made me more aware of the on going dialogue that I have with my body, which actually made the signals even more clear, and I'm completely filled with happiness

and gratitude today.

Because, even though 12 years is a very long time, I've spent almost twice as many years prior to that, living the entirely opposite way.

At that time I was trying to obey as many restrictions and rules possible, trying to ignore all my feelings and guidance from within.

Diets, courses, guidelines, I've tried them all. I used to starve myself and binge from time to time, I've been super skinny, ​super fat and everything in between.

For a couple of years my relationship with food was really distorted, both my weight and my emotions would bounce up and down like crazy. But I've also lived somewhat normally, with a "normal" weight for quite some time.

Regardless of the outside, I never reached a comfortable and balanced place in relation to food and my body. I´d continuously rate my own value according to my successes, which was the same as had I eaten good enough and was I skinny enough.  

An ongoing battle that didn't bring me neither wellness nor the body I longed for.  

Frida Bender - När jag kan äta vad jag vill utan att gå upp i vikt
Frida Bender - Tiden då jag trodde att maten gjorde mig tjock

I know exactly how exhausting it is to devote all that time and energy to food, to all the "do´s and don´ts" and what happens to your self-esteem when you feel out of control.

That combined with all the information we receive about

everything that's damaging to our body in one way or another, and the constant reminder that we should be losing weight. No wonder we lose faith and feel confused from time to time. 

The good news though, is that all of that can change here and now.

I understand how this may sound completely absurd. I mean, everybody knows that if you eat the wrong kind of food and more than you get rid of, you'll gain weight. However, its a fact that I've lived in both worlds and that my weight is the same as during the worst period of "self starving". Back then, by eating as little as possible and now by eating all the things I love and appreciate, as much as I want to, and the only thing I've change is the way I think.

Whether I eat a little or a lot, whether I eat day or night and whatever I choose to eat, just by paying attention to the guidance that my own body is providing, I've found and kept my ideal weight for over 11 years now (except during three pregnancies).

Thereof, it´s my absolute conviction that it has nothing to do with the food your eating, how much you eat or even if you're exercising or not, the only thing that matters is the way you feel about your body and the food you're eating.

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